When Did Looking Effortless Become So Much Work?

“I woke up like this.”

Did we?

No, but for some reason women have been obsessed with looking low maintenance. You see it everywhere, you internalize it through culture and media and movies, and then you're convinced you need to look like Hailey Bieber by 6 am. The cool-girl archetype demands nonchalance but behind the scenes? Everything but. And you know what? Demand means industry follows.

No-makeup makeup that takes two hours. Beach waves that require a curling iron, salt spray, texture spray, then you carefully undo so they look like you didn’t curl them.

Skin care? We had the Korean 12 step routine. Then your skin gets pissed off and you’re trying to figure out which product caused it. Was it the new serum? The toner? The essence? The other serum you bought because apparently one serum wasn’t enough? Which actives are in what? Wait what does DHA even do?

I don't know about you, but the only 12 step anything I've heard from that actually helps people is a system held in a basement church.

At some point we decided that looking effortless required a full-time job. And it’s not exactly a new idea.

In The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Midge waits for her husband to fall asleep, removes her makeup, puts her hair in curlers, sleeps, then gets up before him to put everything back on. The whole performance is so she can climb back into bed looking like she simply woke up that way. It’s set to be in 1958, so we can laugh at it a little.

Except Anna Farris was doing essentially the same thing in What’s Your Number? in 2011, sneaking out of bed to do her makeup before her boyfriend woke up.

Different decade. Same problem. The tools change. The fantasy doesn't. We want to look like we didn't try. We just want to try very, very hard first.

Then we started optimizing everything and why? What's the goal exactly? Wait. Same thing.

We’re optimizing our lives so aggressively that even rest has become another thing to perform correctly.

Eat perfectly.
Sleep perfectly.
Train efficiently.
Recover properly.
Have perfect skin.
Look younger.
Look rested.
Look like you "woke up like this"

And now we’re doing the same thing with tanning. Tanmaxxing?

Let’s talk about why we actually want to be tan. Because it’s not really about being tan. Your skin gets a free Tiktok filter, you look like you go on vacation, you look healthy, you look like you have things under control.

Which is a little funny when the traditional way of getting that look is to damage your skin so that your skin can look healthy. 

We want the appearance of health. And honestly, I get it. A little colour can make a huge difference. I just don't think you need to cook yourself to get there.

Maybe we can just relax a little.  You don't need to optimize every square inch of your epidermis before you’re allowed to go outside. You know which product from your lineup you like. Use that. Let your skin look like skin. After that? Go get a coffee.